Continuing my series of posts I started yesterday, here is another “tip” that Melissa and I live by.  This helps us to live within our means.

Tip #2 :: Refuse to be high-maintenance. There, I said it, too many people in our culture are ungrateful & high-maintenance.  The job of the marketing team at any mall is to make you feel 5 years behind in fashion.  Refuse to allow this to happen and impact your spending.  Here’s how this fleshes out for us…

• When you move into a new house, don’t go buy all new furniture.  Use what you have and add slow.  This is especially true if you’re newly married, renting a house or living in an apartment.  Why?  Because you won’t live there long!  Why go invest a bunch of money fitting up a house that you won’t stay in long.  Then, when you move, you’ll feel like you’ve got to buy new stuff.  That’s an unwise cycle.  When we got married, we lived with furniture that had been given to us by parents.  We had been married for 7 years before we bought our first piece of furniture!  7 years!
• You probably spend too much money on having your hair done.  There, I had to just say that out loud.
• Never have 2 car payments at the same time.  Just don’t.  If you have to finance vehicles, work to pay one off before you buy another.  Or, pay yourself what the car payment would be.  When it comes time to buy…you pay cash.  Currently we spend about 9% of our income on vehicles.  This is insurance, payments, tags, gas, paying extra, everything.
• You should spend between 25%-33% of your income on housing.  This includes utilities, everything.  Keep it within that range.
• When you get a raise, you don’t have to spend it.  You don’t have to get a larger house or a new car.  Yes, treat yourself to something reasonable to celebrate.  Heck, go on a trip.  Just don’t take on more fixed expense.
• Pray that God gives you a spirit of gratefulness.
• Go on a missions trip to give you perspective.  Compared to most…you actually have a lot already.
• Never buy the newest model.  I’ll admit, I want a 2010 Mustang.  If I ever get one…it will not be in 2010…it will be year(s) later.  Why?  Because they depreciate too fast and the next model will be cooler…you’ll eventually want it.

In some of my coaching conversations with young leaders I’ve been asking lots of questions about finances.  Specifically budgeting.  Admittedly, I’m a bit more into this stuff than most.  I tend to be frugal to a fault.  However, I also believe in Godly stewardship.  It’s a spiritual issue.  It’s also a leadership issue.  We can’t lead well if we are a mess behind the scenes (meaning in our wallet).

So, I thought I’d share a few tips over the next few days that Melissa & I employ.  These things have helped us in huge ways.  They are not rocket science…but they work for us.

Tip #1 :: Never buy anything at full price. You heard me right…ANYTHING.  Here are some practical ways we live this out:

• There are 2 keys to doing this:  1.  WAIT.  Don’t buy it the first time you see it.  Everything eventually goes on sale.  2. Don’t buy on IMPULSE.  Never the first time you see it.  Again…wait.
• Always pay with cash.
• We do most of our clothes shopping at Ross, TJMaxx or Marshalls.  It’s name brand/designer stuff at cheap(er) prices.
• Never.  Let me say that again, NEVER, charge things to a store credit account.  Just don’t.  You don’t need to.  It’s silly to have multiple charge cards at multiple stores.  It shows a lack of discipline and a lack of contentment with what you have.
• Remember that cars break down & clothes go out of style.  To finance these things is to being paying on them long after the “new” has worn off.  I know people who are paying off clothes that they don’t even wear anymore.
• New cars depreciate in value up to $8,000 when you drive them off the lot.
• Learn the sales cycle.  I know that Express has a “box sale” about 3 times a year.  I signed up for their mailing list and now they send me a postcard every time they are having it.  I only shop there during these sales.
• Always ask the sales person to give you an extra discount.  Bargain with them.  This especially works with stuff like cars, houses & furniture.
• When bargaining, never speak first.  Remember, “He who speaks first…loses.”
• Always walk away.  I’ve bargained for hours & walked away, only to literally be chased out of the dealership to be given what I wanted.

One of the most important qualities of a leader is their credibility. It’s something that young leaders work hard to gain.  It’s something that can erode over time.  It’s something that can be lost in one mistake.

As I’ve watched the continuing news coverage of Tiger Woods I have wondered how his “transgressions” will impact his immediate and long-term credibility.  If I were a betting man I’d say that Nike, Gatorade, Gillette and other sponsors are asking the same question.

Why is credibility that big of a deal in leadership?  I believe it’s that hidden, sometimes “felt”, factor that enables a leader to be respected.  It’s something that builds immediate bridges of trust with those you lead.  It empowers you to make decisions that are followed with confidence.

So, what can we do to build and maintain our credibility?  Here are a few thoughts…

• Be PASSIONATE! That’s right.  Just live and lead with passion.  Bill Hybels calls it a “Holy Discontent”.  Set your course towards something that matter and give it all you’ve got.
• Have a high-degree of INTEGRITY. Follow through on commitments.  Be on time.  Do what you say you’re going to do.  Do the small things that add up to the sum total of who you are.
• Understand the power of PERCEPTION. As a leader you are held to a higher standard.  If you don’t like that, then get out of leadership.  Where you go, what you say, your tone, who you associate with….all impact how you are perceived.
• Make wise DECISIONS. People aren’t expecting you to be perfect, just be wise.
• Be COMPETENT. Be a learner.  Never stop doing this.  Read, ask questions, get around people who are better than you are.  Chris Hodges says that sometimes we are “Perceived Experts”.  We don’t know everything…but we know enough to seem like we’re experts.
• Know when to SPEAK and when to LISTEN. Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean it needs to be stated.
• Take some RISKS. This requires that you live with faith.  That you show some guts in your leadership.  Make a tough decision.  Step out on a limb.  Generate a passionate discussion.  Stand alone on an issue and fight for it.
• Live with AUTHENTICITY. Be who you are.  Don’t be weird and share too much info.  Just live a real life in front of people.
• Be SELF-AWARE and CONFIDENT in yourself. Take a DISC profile or gift test.  Learn how you’re wired and then lead from there.  Don’t try to lead like someone else.
• Have FUN. People are attracted to those who seem to enjoy what they are doing.   So…enjoy it.

Anything you would add?

“Wisdom always wins, son.” – My Dad

When faced with a tough situation or decision, what question(s) do you ask to help you arrive at your action?  I believe what you ask determines a lot about who you are deep down.  Some may ask, “Do I really believe God will come though in the end?” or “What will people think about me?” or maybe “Who could this hurt?”  Personally, I always ask the same question, “Is this the wise thing to do?”

I’m a wisdom guy.  More than faith, creativity or pleasure…I’m driven by wisdom.  My favorite book of the bible is Proverbs.  My favorite leaders are more systemic/balanced thinkers.  I grew up learning from my dad’s stories & examples of how “wisdom always wins”.  I always have margin in my life.  My favorite bible characters are the 3 Wise Men (JK).  I can’t help it.  I do realize that this makes me a little more boring…but it’s me.  I like balance, practicality and playing it safe.  I store up for rainy days.

While I do realize that I must constantly be stretching to NOT allow this to be the only way that I think, I do think there’s value in being this way.  Especially in today’s overstressed, not-enough-time-in-the-day, overspent, financed, enjoy-it-today-pay-for-it-tomorrow culture…it pays to be this way.  We may all be in better shape if we made less decisions based on “feel” and more based on facts that are “real”.

Today, what are you facing that requires you to pause and ask, “What is the wisest thing for me to do here?”  Go against what you feel, what culture tells you and image.  Make the wise choice.  You won’t regret it.

I’m very into seasons.  I work hard to soak up every moment of each season.  The leaves of Fall, the beach in the Summer, the Masters in the Spring…but may favorite is Christmas season.

Here are a few random things that make me think of Christmas and help me love the season even more!  These are in random order.  I also have not included Jesus.  Obviously, His birth is the reason that I celebrate Christmas and the reason that I celebrate the other 364 days of the year.  That said, I listed things that are a lot less important…but still make it “feel” like Christmas.  Enjoy…

Starbucks Christmas Cups. I know it’s cheesy…but when I see those little red cups I know the season has begun.

White Lights in Hardwood Trees. Mainly this is done in downtown areas…and I LOVE it!  If it weren’t for my family, I would do this instead of a traditional Christmas tree.  I just love it.

Movies. I love them all.  We watch them all.  Even the cheesy, made for TV ones.  My faves: Christmas Vacation (“Good ol fashioned family Christmas!”) & A Christmas Story (“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!”)

The Food. Specifically hot apple cider & gingerbread.  Unbelievable.

The Music. I love it all!  Each year I find a new album that I dig.  This year it’s Sugarland’s Christmas album called “Gold & Green”.  I love the original songs they’ve done.

Parades. Now I love the Macy’s parade, but what I’m really into are the local, small-town parades.  The one’s where people sit in the bed of their pickup truck to watch it on Broad Street.  Where you hear people shouting out kids names in the marching band.  Where little kids are dressed as elves on floats freezing to death.  And where Santa always ends the party!

Christmas Eve Service. At Stevens Creek we do this.  Honestly, I’d never been to one before moving here.  When I first heard about it I didn’t think I’d enjoy it that much.  I was wrong.  It’s my favorite service of the year.  Every second of it.  Don’t miss it if you’re in the area.  This year we’ll be ending our series entitled “The Gift”.

Finally, I love going HOME. I’m from Rome, Ga.  A major piece of my heart will always be there.  I love being at home.  I’m at peace there.  Everything about it is perfect.  The people, the weather, the sights, the blend of small-town feel with upscale/trendy vibe, the mountains, the rivers, everything.  I miss it when I’m away and I dread leaving when I’m there…especially at Christmas.  It’s the most wonderful place to be during the most wonderful time of the year.

What about YOU?  What makes the holidays special to you?

“Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.” –Will Rogers

On Wednesday my youngest daughter, Sydney, had her tonsils removed.  She has been in a lot of pain.  She has not been a happy camper.  We’ve dealt with crying, vomiting, dehydration, more crying and painful faces each time she swallows.  In a word it can be described as “miserable”.

As her parents we hate to see her hurt.  Her tears generate tears from us.  I wish I could take that away and deal with it myself.  I wish there were some magic was that I could absorb her pain for her.

This got me thinking about all of the people out there who are dealing with pain.  The holidays seems to magnify a lot of things…pain being one of them.  People are hurting.  Their pain is very real, very present and gut-wrenching.

Today, if you are suffering, may I encourage you?  Take your pain to Jesus.  The bible says that he will replace our hurt with “joy unspeakable”.  This is a time of year where we celebrate the birth of the “Prince of Peace”.   Why don’t you allow Him to take the throne of your heart and rule your life.  In the middle of your hurt…allow Jesus to bring peace to you.  Make him the Forgiver & Leader of your life.

When he begins to rule your life…peace begins to rule in your life.

I consider myself pretty “connected”.  Twitter, Facebook, Blackberry & Blogs keep me connected.  I’m always a text away.  This can be a great tool.  However, it can also be a drain.  Knowing that I’m constantly accessible is a drain to me.  Even if no one wants me…just “knowing” it wears me out.

Last week I completely disconnected from everything that keeps me “connected”.  No twitter, FB, blogging, or texting.  Can I say…IT WAS AWESOME!  I was able to just connect to my family, to God and to making sure my soul is healthy.  I didn’t realize how much I needed that week.  It was like a Sabbath to me.

I need this “disconnect” on a consistent basis.  So here’s what I’m thinking: I’m going to unplug every Friday.  I’m off this day and spend it just with my family.  Here’s what I’ll be doing on Friday to unplug:

• Turn my phone off. I communicate mainly through texts, emails & tweets…so I’m going to disable those on Fridays.
• My computer will stay in its bag all day. I’ll admit…this will be difficult.

That’s all I’ve got right now.  You may say, “That’s all?”  Well…yes.  That’s A LOT for me!  Say a prayer for me.  I need this.  My family needs it.  My soul needs it.

I’ll admit…I’m a planner.  There, I said it.  It’s a great thing…but it can also be a fault of mine.  I trust in the verse that says…

“…the NOBLE MAN makes NOBLE PLANS…”  Isaiah 32:8

I want to be a noble man.  According to the bible, I can’t do that just by “wanting it” or “believing for it”.  I have to plan for it.

As I approach the new year I have to form some new plans.  Here is a list of the areas that I plan for.  It’s not perfect, but it’s a work in progress:

• Family – How am I going to make lead my family this year?
• Passion – How am I going to grow closer to Jesus this year?
• Purity – What will I do to guard my heart this year?
• Financial – How will I experience more financial freedom this year?
• Stewardship – How much money do I want to give away this year?
• Leadership – What will I do to take lids off for my team this year?
• Ministry – How am I developing myself this year?
• Longevity – What boundaries am I putting in my life to make sure I’m healthy for the long haul?

How are you planning to succeed this year?  What specific steps are you taking to make sure that 2010 is a year like none other?  Make your plans and live your plans.

With the hire of a new student pastor, I’ve been able to step more fully into my role as Executive Pastor.  It’s been often times fun, several times stressful and all the time fulfilling.  There have been moments where I’ve felt this is what I’m made for and moments where I feel in way over my head.

A role I’ve taken on is more of a coach for several of our staff members.  I’m there to help them become better leaders all the while protecting the mission and DNA of our church.

One of the key ways that I’m empowering my teams to lead better is by freeing them up to “make their own decisions”.  I’m coaching them on the front end of a big decision by showing the the value of it and helping them think through any paths their decision may lead.  Let me say, some have made some choices that I wouldn’t have made.  That doesn’t mean they were wrong.  In fact, I’ve been proven wrong a few times.  Either way, I want them to learn the pressure of deciding when it’s on there shoulders…then dealing with the ripple effect.

I’ll always coach them on the other side of a good or bad decision, but I let them make it.  If you’re coaching someone today, let them make a big decision that affects them.  When you make the choice for them, you protect them from a potential screw up, but you also rob them of an opportunity.

Make the decision today to empower others to make decisions.